Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
