He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
