There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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