Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
