Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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