You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Houston, we have a blender
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
