he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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