so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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