Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
4 words: hood of his car
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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