actually, I'm a sock model
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
