We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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