It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize