I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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