she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
