I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
