One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
