Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
