He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
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I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
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Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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