you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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