just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
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And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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