bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
