Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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