I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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