It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize