There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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