He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
