New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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