don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
