Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
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How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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