I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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