I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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