Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
