I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I faked an abortion last night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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