so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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