My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
