Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize