They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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