I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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