She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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