Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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