Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Randomize
