She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
