So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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