walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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