i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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