It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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