ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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