I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It's Friday. Sex?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
