so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
