mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's official drugs can't kill me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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