Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Your penis caused this!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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