Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
