the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
