omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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