well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
