If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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