I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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