i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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