eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
