When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
