tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize