Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize