I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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