Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
